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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26422267">Issues</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedTwisty/pseuds/TwistedTwisty'>TwistedTwisty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stargirl (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cameron Has Crippling Anxiety, Courtney Probably Does Too, Courtney's Just Trying Her Best OK, Courtney's Shy About Kissing For Some Reason IDK, Drama, Established Relationship, F/M, First Fight, Fluff, Frustrated Cameron, Suits The Plot, They've Only Been Dating For Like A Month</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:47:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26422267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedTwisty/pseuds/TwistedTwisty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Courtney has been canceling her and Cameron's time together more than usual recently. He decides he needs to confront her about it, if he wants it to change. (Cameron's POV)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cameron Mahkent &amp; Courtney Whitmore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Issues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Hey, won’t be able to make it sorry, JSA stuff just came up. See you tomorrow xx - Courtney</em>
</p>
<p>Cameron sighed as he read the text. He’d gotten it not even twenty seconds ago and had read it immediately. He dropped the phone on his bed. This seemed to be a common occurrence these days: Court canceling their time together for the JSA. He knew that being Stargirl was important to her, of course, and he’d never try to stop her from doing what she loved. But it kept happening more and more. The last time they hung out outside of school was two weeks ago and even then it was cut short for a last second mission.

</p><p>Tonight she had planned to come over to his to hang out. Watch a movie, maybe he would steal a few kisses, whatever. But those hangouts were rare these days and Cameron was getting more frustrated. He would never ask her to choose between being Stargirl and him, but he had feelings too. Not to mention that he missed her like crazy. There was only so much time at school they could talk and be together before that too was cut short due to classes.</p>
<p>He assumed for a while that this situation would just right itself. He didn’t want to bring it up, but now he felt like he had to. What sort of future could they have if they never spent time together? He didn’t like feeling this way: the constant disappointment that came with her canceling their time together (usually last minute), the feeling of not being good enough, the loneliness, the longing, the fact that he missed her so bad his gut would twist into a knot.</p>
<p>Not to mention the constant overthinking: Was she OK? Was she gonna end up in a hospital bed or worse? He shook the thoughts from his head instantly. He never wanted to think of it coming to… that.</p>
<p>What if this was her way of breaking up with him? Was he boring? Did she not want to be with him anymore? Was she slowly distancing herself from him until either one of them broke it off?</p>
<p>It had only been a month since their first kiss and he had asked her out then and there. Could he have really ruined everything in a month?</p>
<p>He hated this: the not knowing. He decided he’d speak to her about it at the next moment he got a chance to.</p>
<p>                                                                                                                                        ****</p>
<p>The next morning, he set off to Courtney’s house to pick her up and walk her to school. They had done it every morning even before they had started dating. He especially looked forward to this time with her. No one else was around, no distractions and he had her all to himself.</p>
<p>He had checked his phone as soon as he woke up for any texts from the JSA and there were none. That was a good sign. They vowed to him that they would let him know straight away if Courtney had been hurt.</p>
<p>There she was, waiting on the front step for him. Strange, he tried to be early so he didn’t keep her waiting. Usually he’d knock at the front door, Pat would invite him in and they (Pat, Barbara and even Mike) would chat until Courtney was ready to go. He hoped that nothing was wrong.<br/>
“Hey.” He called.</p>
<p>Her eyes met his and they both smiled instantly.</p>
<p>She made her way over to him. “Good morning.”</p>
<p>She quickly invaded his personal space and kissed him. Just a quick peck. She was super self-conscious about public displays of affection, that’s what Cameron thought it was anyway. Out in public she would always keep their kisses super short. Cameron on the other hand couldn’t care less. He just couldn’t get enough of her.</p>
<p>As she pulled back, he automatically scanned her beautiful face for any injuries. There were a few tiny scratches under her left eye, they weren’t too noticeable, but they were fresh.</p>
<p>“I’m fine.” She assured him, noticing his staring.</p>
<p>“How did it go last night?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Good, I don’t think those idiots will be back in town anytime soon.”</p>
<p>“Is everyone OK?”</p>
<p>“Yep, we’re all good.”</p>
<p>Court never wanted to go into much detail with him. He understood that to an extent. She wanted to protect him and whatnot. But he always felt like he was left in the dark.</p>
<p>“That’s the main thing.” He said, taking her hand in his.</p>
<p>Cameron decided he wouldn’t bring up the issue right now. He wanted to make the most of this morning. He knew it needed to be said, the problem wouldn’t just magically disappear (although he wished it would.) He was enjoying her company too much.</p>
<p>                                                                                                                                 ****</p>
<p>They arrived at school and still had a few minutes before they went their separate ways for their first class. Cameron honestly couldn’t describe how much he enjoyed this time with her. It seemed to be the only time he got these days.</p>
<p>“Let me make it up to you.” Courtney said. “five o’clock, my place, dinner?”</p>
<p>“Hmm,” Cameron teased, “sounds a lot like that other arrangement that didn’t quite get-”</p>
<p>“Shh.” Courtney said, placing a finger over his lips. “Decide fast, the clock is ticking…”</p>
<p>“Deal.” He quickly responded.</p>
<p>He took both her hands in his and gently pulled her closer. She went along with it, until she figured out what he wanted. She hesitated and leaned back a bit.</p>
<p>“Not here.” She said quietly.</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“There’s people…”</p>
<p>“So?”</p>
<p>She sighed, looking clearly uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“Ok.” He shrugged, stepping away from her.</p>
<p>He tried not to overthink it. This wasn’t about rejecting him; it’s not like she didn’t want to kiss him. (Maybe, hopefully?) She was uncomfortable, this was about her. Her feelings. He needed to respect that.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, it still stung a little.</p>
<p>The bell rang, cutting through the awkward silence.</p>
<p>“Cameron-”</p>
<p>He could tell she felt bad about it. Maybe she was about to apologise, but he didn’t want her to. She couldn’t help how she felt, he understood that. But sometimes he just wanted to kiss his girlfriend. Was she embarrassed by him?</p>
<p>Stop it Cameron, she wouldn’t be here standing with you if she was, he told himself. But seriously, he couldn’t help but wonder sometimes: how the hell had he managed to get with her? She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. He’d always believed that if something seemed too good to be true, it probably was. Why the hell had she picked him? The arty, quiet outcast? Uh, he wished his doubting, overthinking mind would shut up sometimes.</p>
<p>“It’s OK.” He interrupted. “I’ll see you later.”</p>
<p>He quickly turned away and made his way to his class, so she couldn’t read anymore into the hurt he was poorly trying to conceal. He didn’t mean to show it or feel it. His face didn’t seem to want to cooperate with the poker face he was trying to show. He hoped she’d forget about it.</p>
<p>He really, really missed kissing her. He missed hanging out with her.</p>
<p>Stupid teenage hormones.</p>
<p>                                                                                                                                  ****</p>
<p>The day dragged on too slowly. They saw each other again at lunch along with Rick, Beth and Yolanda. They were all engrossed in their latest mission. Cameron tuned it out today, there was too much on his mind. Plus, it kind of made him jealous that they all spent more time with Courtney than he did.</p>
<p>She seemed to have forgotten about earlier, or maybe didn’t want to bring it up around everyone else. Either way he was fine with it. He’d moved on. Plus, he couldn’t stand seeing her sad. It wasn’t a big issue anyway, but maybe they still needed to talk about it, among other things.</p>
<p>All he wanted was for the school day to be over so he could hang out at Courtney’s. Pat was a great cook and Cameron got along with her family really well. He wondered what him and her would do after dinner. Maybe watch a movie or something. Hopefully they’d be alone…</p>
<p>When lunch was over, he walked her to her next class, hand in hand. He didn’t make the same mistake twice; he gave her a smile, said goodbye and left. Which took a lot of self-restraint by the way, but he managed.</p>
<p>Just think about tonight, he reminded himself.</p>
<p>Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t going to pressure her into anything. He knew they definitely weren’t ready for the next step yet. Just some kissing would be nice.</p>
<p>Finally the school day was over and Cameron couldn’t help but feel ecstatic. It wasn’t long till he’d have Courtney all to himself, he couldn’t wait.</p>
<p>As soon as he got out of the school, he spotted her down in the car park. She was by herself and she had a weird expression on her face. Was it worry? Guilt? Something like that. She seemed to be in a world of her own.</p>
<p>Wait, he’d seen that expression before…</p>
<p>No, no. She was NOT going to cancel. She said the JSA had a lot going on, but she seemed super genuine and excited to hang out with him tonight. She wouldn’t cancel last minute?</p>
<p>
  <em>She has before, idiot.</em>
</p>
<p>But not this time, he reassured himself.</p>
<p>He came up behind her and gently touched her lower back, so he wouldn’t scare her.</p>
<p>“Hey, so five o’clock, right?”</p>
<p>She quickly spun around, and her face said it all. “I’m sorry-”</p>
<p>“Seriously?” He demanded. “You’re canceling again?”</p>
<p>He knew it. He god damn knew it.</p>
<p>“Cameron-”</p>
<p>“No, it shouldn’t be like this. Why am I always fighting for your attention? Is this stuff seriously so important to you that you can’t take one night off for me?”</p>
<p>She wasn’t expecting this outburst from him, he could tell. He had stunned her into silence. Suddenly all the frustration had risen to the surface and he couldn’t keep it in any longer. He really shouldn’t keep his emotions and problems bottled in like this, but that was just what he did. Her silence seemed to annoy him even more. Didn’t she have anything to say? What was the excuse this time?</p>
<p>When she didn’t say anything he laughed dryly. “It’s fine Courtney. Whatever. Just keep ditching me. I mean, have you ever stopped to think about how this is affecting me? I miss you. I miss hanging out with you. But it feels like you prefer your “thing” over me. So it’s fine. I mean, we barely have time to talk, I can’t even kiss you. Whatever. I’ve never asked you to choose between being “that” over me because I know what the answer will be. So I’m done. Keep doing your thing and you won’t have to worry about me being in your way anymore.”</p>
<p>He turned and walked away before she could say anything. He secretly hoped she’d chase after him and reassure him that none of what he said was true. That she’d cancel whatever she was doing this afternoon and hang out with him to prove that. He kept walking and he waited, but she never came. She didn’t even say a word. Nothing.</p>
<p>It stung bad, but it assured him that everything he had been thinking and feeling was true. At least he wouldn’t be strung along anymore. She now had all the time in the world to fight all the bad guys she wanted to. He kept telling himself that this god awful feeling would go away eventually; he would move on. But that didn’t help right now. Right now, it was raw and awful.</p>
<p>The night seemed to drag on forever. She didn’t text him and he didn’t text her. That made him even more upset. It seemed like this suited her. Like this was actually what she wanted. Or was she just too busy being Stargirl? He didn’t know, but he would find out tomorrow. Maybe she was upset. Technically he broke up with her, so why would she want to text him?</p>
<p>Cameron hated not knowing.</p>
<p>He decided he wasn’t going to walk her to school today. She probably wouldn’t want to see him anyway. Unfortunately, his heart still ached for her. He told himself it would for a while, but it would heal itself eventually. He wondered if she would talk to him today or even look at him.</p>
<p>He got himself ready and was heading out the front door when a particular person caught his eye. There was Courtney, standing at the bottom of his driveway, looking as beautiful as ever. As soon as she heard his front door close, her eyes met his and she gave him a small smile. Well this was weird. He had started walking to school with her because he passed her house on the way. For her, his house was in the complete opposite direction. She must have gotten up super early to be here before he had even left.</p>
<p>He didn’t know how to feel about it. He was still mad at the way she had been treating him, but his heart melted whenever he saw her. She was just so beautiful. She was everything he wanted and she made him truly happy. Why do relationships (especially ones that involve superheroes) have to be so hard?</p>
<p>She waited down at the bottom of the driveway for him, but he was frozen in place. What did she want to say? Why was she here? Did she agree with him about breaking up? Did she not agree? There was only one way to find out.</p>
<p>He managed to get his legs moving and approached her.</p>
<p>“Hey.” She said quietly.</p>
<p>“Hey.”</p>
<p>It was awkward for a few seconds as Cameron waited for her to speak. He had said all he wanted to say, so it was her turn.</p>
<p>After a few seconds of her awkwardly looking around, he couldn’t take it anymore.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” He prompted.</p>
<p>She hesitated as she looked everywhere but at him. “Did you really mean what you said about being done with us?”</p>
<p>As soon as he looked at her, he felt awful. She looked so hurt asking that. After wondering all night how she had been dealing with it, he didn’t have to imagine anymore. She was just as upset as he was.</p>
<p>He sighed. Of course he didn’t want to be done with her. He liked her so much and she brought so much light into his life. But things had to change.</p>
<p>“I guess I lost it a bit yesterday.” He admitted. “I still want to be with you, it just doesn’t feel like you want the same thing.”</p>
<p>“Of course I do Cameron.”</p>
<p>“Well, actions speak louder than words.” He said. “You’ve been blowing me off for weeks, I never see you outside of school anymore. Except for, what? Our fifteen minute walk to school? That’s not enough time. It feels like being Stargirl is more important to you now.”</p>
<p>“You know that’s not true-”</p>
<p>“You seem totally unfazed with skipping time together. You’re not even bothered by it. I miss you so bad and it feels like you could take it or leave it.”</p>
<p>She sighed. “It's just so… It’s been full on recently. There’s been bad guy, after bad guy, after bad guy. It’s like it’s never ending. I love being Stargirl, but on any given night or on the weekends, I’d much rather hang out with you. But if there’s lives in danger I need to be there to help. I couldn’t live with myself if one night I had decided to skip and lives were lost because of that. Can’t you understand that?”</p>
<p>“Of course I can.” He said. “But I need to see you more than what I do now. During school’s not enough. It’s not enough for me. I’m sick of feeling this way all the time.”</p>
<p>She was silent again, at a loss for words.</p>
<p>“As I said, it’s fine Court. You do what you gotta do, don’t let me get in your way.”</p>
<p>He went to walk off but she caught his arm. “Please Cam… I don’t want to lose you.”</p>
<p>He didn’t even try to shake off her grip. As soon as she said that, his heart sort of broke. She sounded so genuine and scared, that it scared him. Then it dawns on him: he’s tried to break up with her twice now and she keeps coming back. She wants this as much as he does.</p>
<p>He turned back around to face her. It was awful seeing that scared expression on her face. She really didn’t want to lose him, he could see it.</p>
<p>“I just want to hang out together, that’s all.” He said.</p>
<p>“That’s what I want too.” She assured him. “It’s just hard…”</p>
<p>“I hadn’t noticed.” He said sarcastically.</p>
<p>She nodded sadly.</p>
<p>“So, what? We just continue as we are?” He asked. “It’s not gonna work-”</p>
<p>“OK look, I can’t make any promises, but I’m gonna try and hang out with you as much as I can. You must know I’m not trying to hurt you, but I’m sorry that I have. I’ll try my hardest to make this work, for both of us.”</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the problem wasn’t solved. They could still have this issue in the upcoming future. But he could see she was trying to make this work. She had addressed the problem and apologized. That was enough. Just being with her was enough. Her company was enough. She was enough. He couldn’t even imagine her not being in his life. He didn’t want to go there.</p>
<p>“OK.” He agreed.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” She asked and her face lit up.</p>
<p>His heart did a flip, she had such a beautiful smile. He loved seeing her happy like this.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>He took her hand in his (something he thought he might never get the chance to do again) and they walked to school. Any awkwardness between them was gone almost immediately.</p>
<p>                                                                                                                                         ****</p>
<p>“So I know you’ve heard this before but… dinner at mine tonight?” Courtney asked sheepishly.</p>
<p>He sighed. “You know my answer. But I guess we’ll have to wait and see?”</p>
<p>She shook her head. “Nope. Tonight is reserved for you and you only, I promise.”</p>
<p>“Be careful making promises you might not be able to keep.” He teased.</p>
<p>“Seriously, I’m all yours.”</p>
<p>He liked the sound of that.</p>
<p>“OK.” He agreed, like he always did.</p>
<p>He wouldn’t get his hopes up, just in case.</p>
<p>She nodded contently and smiled to herself. She seemed different today, like she was more in the moment. Her mind wasn’t elsewhere, like it usually was, at least not right now.<br/>
“I’ll see you at lunch?” He asked.</p>
<p>Most days she was there, some days she wasn’t. He liked to make sure. If she wasn’t there he tried to avoid that god awful cafeteria. There were too many people and too much noise for him, but if she was there, he’d put up with it.</p>
<p>“Yep.”</p>
<p>“Cool,” he was already turning ready to start making his way to his next class, “I’ll see you lat-”</p>
<p>“Hey.” She caught his hand before he could even take a step.</p>
<p>This took him by surprise and he froze in place. He looked down at her and she was shyly smiling up at him.</p>
<p>“What…?”</p>
<p>He trailed off as she took a couple of steps closer to him. He quickly figured out what she was doing as she leaned closer towards him.</p>
<p>Was he dreaming? Was this really happening? She was about to kiss him in the school hallway, filled with other people. Dream or not, he was happy to oblige. He quickly closed the gap and softly kissed her.</p>
<p>She kissed him back and brought a hand up to cup his face.</p>
<p>He wrapped his arms around her and gently pulled her closer. Already he could feel the unease rolling off her. It was hard to explain, but he could feel the tension in her body just from having his arms around her. He wondered what the reason behind it was. Was she shy? Was it because this was new to her and she still needed to get used to it? She didn’t like that people could be possibly watching?</p>
<p>That was a discussion for another day.</p>
<p>She kissed him once more and pulled back, but she didn’t step away.</p>
<p>He kept his arms wrapped around her. Honestly he didn’t want to let go. It felt like Deja Vu thinking it, but he couldn’t wait until tonight. He would try not to be surprised if she had to cancel. But all he wanted to do was spend time with this girl. He couldn’t get enough of her.</p>
<p>“What was that for?” He murmured.</p>
<p>She almost looked guilty. “You mentioned yesterday that you “can’t kiss me.” I mean, that maybe you think I don’t want to kiss you or I don’t like kissing you. That’s not it, I just… I don’t like doing it out in public, it’s weird. I don’t know, I’ll try and work on it.”</p>
<p>“Courtney, if it makes you uncomfortable, we won’t.” He assured her.</p>
<p>“That’s not fair. So you can only kiss me when we’re alone at home? That’s not-”</p>
<p>“If that’s what you want, then yes.”</p>
<p>“I’ll get used to it.” She cupped his face and smiled.</p>
<p>He’d wait and see. He decided that if they were out in public he wouldn’t make a move to kiss her, he’d wait for her to initiate it. But when they were at home, it was fair game.</p>
<p>“Well, I guess I better get going.”</p>
<p>His next class was on the other side of the building, so he needed to get going soon to make it on time.</p>
<p>“OK.” She agreed. “I’ll see you at lunch.”</p>
<p>She turned back towards her locker and started shuffling books around, looking for the right one.</p>
<p>He went to leave, he really did, but hesitated as a thought crossed his mind. Was it a good idea? Of course he’d ask first, but hadn’t she already pushed herself enough today?</p>
<p>She noticed his lingering and turned back towards him with a confused expression.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Hey, so uh… Can I maybe…? One more?”</p>
<p>She smirked and rolled her eyes. With no hesitation whatsoever she leaned up and pressed her lips against his again. It was a proper kiss too. She was really trying to show him that she wanted this. She didn’t want to give up on them. He really appreciated the effort.</p>
<p>He went to wrap his arms around her, but she was already pulling back.</p>
<p>“Now go, you’re gonna be late.” She laughed.</p>
<p>“What can I say? I’m needy.” He shrugged.</p>
<p>He quickly turned on his heels, before he could even think about kissing her again. She just had no idea what she did to him; how she affected him. It was beyond ridiculous. He could hear her giggling in the background and it made him smile. He couldn’t help but look over his shoulder at her and he was surprised to see her looking at him too. She was just smiling at him, with her bag already hanging on her shoulders, locker shut. Just watching him, maybe. He grinned at her, but quickly made his way to class before the thought of turning around took over his mind.</p>
<p>He couldn’t wait for tonight.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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